So now that it’s back to school, or at least that’s what all these stores are telling me. Isn’t there still more than a month left???? I mean, summer ends Labor Day weekend, right? Imagine how I felt when I was sitting back, watching my brand new Samsung 32” HDTV I picked up on Cowboom, when the Big Boss comes in. He’s waving his hands, pacing back and forth, talking crazy talk about grades, the BBB, and how I am supposed to explain what I did this past summer. Like I need that. I was about to start playing this game to Legally Blonde 2 – Red, White, and Blonde, but now I’m stuck doing this stu— What? Yeah, yeah. I’m all over, man! Chill out! Ahem—
What I did this summer.
Date: Whenever I get to finishing this
Teacher: Mr. Big Wig
his summer I had so much fun. I sold lots of really, really cool stuff. For real cheap. But the best part of it is that I made people happy. Really happy. According to the folks over at the Better Business Bureau, we are totally A- for Awesome sweet Internet purchasing goodness.
Now I am sure you are wondering, “Why not A+?” Well, let me be the first to tell you, we aren’t perfect. I’m kidding. We are really the definition of the finest commerce machine on the planet and as soon as we collect all the data we will take over the world and make everyone say “moo” instead of “Hello”. But that’s later. Actually, according to the BBB, and I quote, “The condition that lowers this grade from A+ is not what we believe to be a significant one.”
What does that mean? It means that we won’t stop believin’ in a small town boy born and raised in South Detroit. It means that our customer service department has been working their tails off trying to make you happy and that rights are righted. And wrongs are not wrong-ed. They are like elves in Santa’s shop peeking into the great deals you pick up from us and making sure that we got it right.
I mean sure, we work them to the bone. People can survive on open box HDMI cables, right? Right?!?! That’s lead, fiber, all of your daily vitamins. So I am taking this time, to remind you, our fellow Cowboomers, that we care. We work hard for you, everyday. Even on the weekend. Even when you are sleeping. It’s kinda all the time.
And way to go Customer Service department. I will do more to acknowledge you when you come up a way to RMA my step mother to Siberia. Until then, pat on the back… high and dry.