Buckle up! The Earth is about to face its toughest challenge yet and humanity itself may not survive the ride. I’m talking a full-scale alien invasion led by a mad god from another realm. Thankfully, it’s just a movie. It’s Marvel’s much-anticipated film, The Avengers which hits theaters May 4th. This is the big screen crossover featuring Iron Man, Captain America, Thor and the Hulk. And it’s definitely going to be epic.
The Avengers, brought together by Director Nick Fury, are a group of super-powered beings charged with the task of protecting the planet from impossible threats. Each member plays a critical role on the team, displaying a variety of skills, weapons and personalities. Now, you can’t have a big-budget film without some major licensing power, can you? So with that in mind, how would today’s top gadgets, gizmos and electronics compare to Earth’s Mightiest Heroes? Okay, it may sound odd, but just picture CowBoom’s best and brightest products joining forces to take on the dreaded evil of… high prices! Here’s how they’d all match up with their Avengers counterparts:
A born leader, Captain America may be the living embodiment of Apple Pie and the good ol’ U.S. of A, but he’s one tough fighter who will never back down. He’ll persevere despite the odds and keep a level head, no matter the danger. His biggest asset, though? Well, his near indestructible shield. But that’s not what I meant. No. What makes him tops is that he’s a natural leader, able to take charge and bark out orders whether it’s to a partner, a team or an entire army. We’re talking the King of Communication here.
Avenging Gadget: What could be more fitting as an electronic equivalent for the Super-Solider than a Smart Phone? Whether the latest iPhone, Droid or Samsung Galaxy, smart phones connect people instantly. These days, communication goes way beyond just talking on a phone. There’s e-mail, instant messaging, social media and more. Want to find someone quickly, get the word out on something instantly, or connect with hundreds of people at once? Yeah, you’ll need a Smart Phone.
They don’t make them much cockier than Tony Stark. But the billionaire inventor has good reason to be so sure of himself: he’s one of the smartest tech-heads in the world. What do gadget geeks love most about their tech? Two things: power and slickness. As Iron Man, Tony has both. His armor is one massively powerful weapon, able to fly at incredible speeds, shoot robot-decimating laser beams, as well as massively increase his body’s strength. Not only does he do insanely powerful things, but in that Iron Man armor, Shell-Head looks real good doing it too.
Avenging Gadget: When it comes to slickness, nobody does it better than Apple. From iPhones to MacBooks, the company knows how to make user-friendly products that are as much fun to look at as they are to use. Heck, even Apple’s packaging is first-rate. And when it comes to power, the Mac Pro Desktop is certainly up there. Slick and powerful, the Mac Pro can churn out calculations as quickly as you can request them. In fact, short of asking for a few martinis (and hitting on its secretary), it may be tough to tell a Mac Pro and Iron Man apart.
You won’t like him when he’s angry. Heck, you probably won’t like him much when he’s happy either. The big, green fighting machine is just the super personification of raw power. He may not be the sharpest tool in the superhero toolbox, but he’s certainly the strongest. The Hulk is big. He’s loud. And he’s incredibly colorful.
Avenging Product: Have you seen a 46-inch Samsung 3D LED HDTV? Those things are huge, loud and mega colorful. It’s like cramming an entire movie theater into a perfect rectangle to hang on your living room wall. (Minus the sticky floors and soda-stained seats.) Watching movies on this bad boy is about pure power and adrenaline. Just like our jolly green giant of a friend.
Okay, so he may have been a bit of a spoiled brat, but can you blame poor Thor? After all, his dad Odin’s the ruler of Asgard. That’s not like being President Obama’s kid. It’s more like having the Emperor of Earth as your proud poppa. But regardless, Thor learned his lesson (humility!) and now the God of Thunder fights for the rights of Earthlings everywhere! With his magical hammer Mjolnir at his side, Goldilocks can bring down the lightning on any baddies who dare mess with the wrong guy. If Thor existed in our world for real, you just know he’d make everyone’s “Most Eligible Bachelor” list. Good looks. Powerful. Mysterious. Overflowing with confidence. He’s quite the catch, ain’t he?
Avenging Product: In all of gadgetdom there is nothing more coveted and mysterious than Apple’s iPad. It’s this gorgeous-looking device that can do practically magical things at the merest touch of your finger. A super bright, vivid screen that just gives off a super (almost godlike) aura of confidence.
Sexy, stealthy and secretive are just three alliterative words to describe the Avengers’ Super Spy Natasha Romanoff. A skilled assassin armed with an extensive arsenal of deadly weapons including her customized widow stings and cluster bombs, the Black Widow is as sultry as she is deadly. She sees everything, but is never seen. She’ll never forget a face. And nothing escapes her gaze.
Avenging Gadget: Small, stylish and able to perfectly record every moment pretty much describes today’s top-of-the line digital camcorders. Whether it’s Sony, Canon, Panasonic or any other major brand, you’ll see and record everything you set your eyes on. With slick features and plenty of curves, the only way to tell one of these from the Black Widow herself is the red hair.
If anyone loves being a superhero, it’s got to be Clint Barton, a.k.a. Hawkeye. An expert marksman, Hawkeye’s bow is a natural extension of his arm. His weapon? A quiver full of various customized arrows, each with a different purpose to suit the moment. With a steady hand and an eagle eye, Hawkeye’s one superhero who rarely misses his mark.
Avenging Gadget: Shooting at targets? Precision marksmanship? Sounds like just about any disc you could pop into the crazy-entertaining video game console known as the XBox 360. Small and assuming, the Xbox 360 is most definitely one product you shouldn’t underestimate.
Which superhero is your favorite?